sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
