I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
