I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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