Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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