i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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