I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do vagina's smell?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize