i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
