I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
