just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
