the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
