i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
