I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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