So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize