I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
