DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Holy sore nipples Batman
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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