i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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