ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
