He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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