I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize