I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This baby is an asshole
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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