He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
