I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
