I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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