Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
