That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize