But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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