What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
