I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize