You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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