Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
