Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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