i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Houston, we have a squirter
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
