Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize