bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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