How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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