Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
