I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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