THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
