My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
handjob tips. give me some.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will pee on everything he values.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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