he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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