I wanna bring you to show and tell
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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