That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
