you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
