I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
