No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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