is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
