this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
