You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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