I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
PANTIES FOUND
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize