I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
