I hate your face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
