I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
