brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize