I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just cropdusted the office
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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