we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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